Thank you for taking the initiative to read about this concept. By this action, you have singled yourself out as an elite person who is looking for something more in life. Your first question should be to ask - who is the author? Please allow me to introduce myself and a concept that I have been working on for over 20 years. As a telecommunications engineer, business owner, entrepreneur, and founder /director of the Southpointe Chamber of Commerce, I have been fortunate to work closely with successful people, mostly business owners. I started in 1976 in the security electronics profession with a startup company of my own using the equivalent of one week's income as my initial investment. Our specialty was installation of alarm systems, card access systems, and CCTV camera surveillance systems for upscale homes in Pennsylvania and the Tri-state area. More recently we expanded into internet systems, internet fiber optics, WIFI and building cable infrastructure. This quickly brought me to a client base located in the affluent residential and business communities. It was not uncommon to work in homes of 10,000 sq. ft. and larger valued at $5 million and more. I kept my business small with a 'one-on-one' relationship with my clients. These are top executives of corporations who either owned or were principal executives in the top ranks of their respective companies. When installing security, I worked with the homeowners to establish how the alarm and camera electronics would fit into their lifestyle. As a result, I was invited to their networking parties, cocktail happy hour and morning coffee sessions. I spent many evenings talking about their future plans, goals and procedures. Often we discussed theories on how to efficiently accomplish those goals. My intent was not to place emphasis on making high profits so much as meeting the right people who were going places and growing. I wanted to learn what made them tick.
Days and months turned into years and soon 20 years went by. I stayed in contact with the people I met and watched many of them build empires. In fact, I watched each step, each expansion, changes in their corporations and lives. As they grew, their security, communications and person security electronics grew. They went from fax to internet, text, VOIP phones, remote viewing of office Cameras, teleconferencing, etc. Most of them would not make a change or move forward without calling and meeting to discuss the expansion of electronics in their lives. This kept me coming back, sometimes years later only to pick up on our conversations where we left off. After some time, I had no problem asking them about their formulas for success. What was their opinion on how they made it. I had no problem hearing each theory as everyone wants to tell you how he/she got to a success level. The conversations materialized not in the office environment, but rather in the intimacy of their homes over cocktails and coffee. Many candid conversations unveiled personal philosophies, and how they were orchestrated. I've watched these individuals grow from average people with small businesses to owners of large profitable corporations. I've been intrigued with how these individuals are able to make money, acquire friends, business contacts and grow quickly. With many, as I pulled into their circular driveways displaying Cadillac's and Rolls Royce's, I also saw their relationships with employees, spouses, family and friends. Some were successful financially, but had shipwrecked families coupled with extramarital affairs, legal suits, tax problems, health issues, anger issues and you can only imagine the rest.
I decided to focus on the group that 'had it together' with family values, money, quality time, and relationships in balance with their financial success.
I concentrated my interest on how these people tick. Their ideas and efforts ultimately brought me to wrting this book on success concepts. Each person I singled out became a study. I was not shy about discussing and highlighting their success principles. In fact, I openly interviewed each person. My first discovery was most refreshing.
You'll be surprised to know that the old adage 'money brings problems' is not true. The saying 'money brings problems' may have originated by those without money!
PREFACE
What is the secret? What makes average people, sometimes, below average people succeed at great levels? When I was 19 my cousin insisted I read 'How to win friends and influence People', by Dale Carnegie. I practically memorized the book and went around for the next 20 years reading more self help books and practicing steps, procedures and endless lists of how to make it happen. I even read the intimidation books and manipulation books in hopes of finding the answer. Being an engineer, I was given the gift, sometimes curse, of analyzing every event to the point of saturation in my mind. Too often my wife, friends and business acquaintances interrupted saying, Oh! quit analyzing things to death!
Now at middle age, I am still reading self help books and analyzing, but guess what - I found the answer! It's so exciting to find out what life's goals and achievements are about. Now I can share them with you.
Change is changing. We all know about instant gratification America. The McDonald's, immediate reward, no waiting syndrome. Added to this effect is fast information exchange, via Internet, text, turbo charged advertising, the flash fast productions. Much of these have changed the conventional motivational techniques.
Below are questions designed to bring us to the reality of our goals along with suggestions and comments to help us get over this Written Goal hurdle. Don't think about each question listed - quickly pick up a pen and write answers between the questions. Yes, it's ok to write in this book. Be honest, don't think to long or ponder on each answer, be spontanious.
1. Do I want a better job? Better hours? More understanding boss?
2. Do I like my job? Now ask again, do I really like my job or have I compromised or learned to tolerate?
3. Could I handle my bosses? If I had his job, what changes would I make?
4. Would I own my own business if I didn't have to do paperwork, taxes, invoicing, cash analysis, etc? What would it be? How could my hobby become a business?
5. Do I have time for my family, friends and associates?
6. Can I afford to take along family, friends and associates to educational, recreational, entertaining and spiritual functions, trips, vacations?
7. Are my vacations compromises, trip to the brother-in-laws instead of the beach, to save money?
8. Am I having trouble sleeping? Why? Health, worry, too hot, too cold, too noisy?
9. If I had an extra $5,000 to spend only on my parents (brother, sister, wife) what would I give them?
10. What car would I like to drive if someone else bought it?
11. Ever dream of flying an airplane, sailing, fishing, golfing, going to football, baseball games?
12. When was the last time you took your spouse or family in a limousine?
13. Would you like to lose weight? Look younger? Maybe not younger but healthier? Have time to work out in a gym?
14. If I had an extra $5,000 to give to a church or non-profit charity what would I present to what organization?
15. If I had an extra $5,000 I had to give to a friend I know, who would it be and why?
If none of this is working to get you excited, here is an idea that will jump start your life!
QUESTIONS TO JUMP START YOUR LIFE!
1. Do I have a friend, children, parent that want a better job?
2. Do my parents, wife, children like what they are doing? Now ask again, do they really like what they are doing?
3. Would I own my own business if I could hire family, close friends and acquaintances. Would I hire people from my work?
4. Does my family, friends, associates have time for me? Do I have time for them?
5. Can they or would they want to go with me on an educational, recreational, entertaining and spiritual functions and places?
6. Where would my family, friends, or relatives take me for a vacation if all expenses were paid?
7. How are my family, friends, relatives. health? How can I help them? Do any of them need new glasses, teeth fixed, doctor exam, support, advise?
8. If my family, friends, etc. gave me $5,000 to spend what would I buy?
9. What car would I like to give to my child, spouse, father, mother?
10. If I could pay for flying lessons, buy a sailboat, plan a vacation, who would I give this gift to?
11. When was the last time my friends took me in a limousine?
12. Would I like my spouse to lose weight? Look younger? Maybe not younger but healthier?
13. If I could make changes in my church, what would they be?
14. If I had an extra $5,000 for a friend, how would I improve the quality of his or her life?
15. If I'm single, how do I meet the perfect mate? Where? When? Who?
By now your getting the picture! Ask yourself, If I can't think of goals for myself, why not help others? You'll feel better, not worry about failure (It's their loss not yours) and contribute to helping those around you.
Three factors contribute to the success formula. It's so simple that it is hard to believe - at first. But if you apply these three simple principles to your everyday life, it will change dramatically. If your happy where you are, that's better yet. At lease you will now recognize the principles and know how to respond. For the first time you will understand how you are being manipulated, controlled and motivated by others to accomplish tasks that may have not been on your agenda. The three steps in themselves are not significant, but if you place them together, sequentially, the results will impress you and others. They will see the change, almost instantly! After reading this book, you will spot the effective person, club leaders, group leaders and pinpoint each component leading up to success. You will see the plot unfold. In most cases the person or group isn't even consciously aware of their action. In fact, the majority of the time, they don't even know the steps they are actually performing. I have been fortunate enough to spend considerable time with multi millionaires to the point many have become close friends. I have confronted these successful people and they are surprised to know of the process. Most are not aware of the steps they are performing. Sound scary? Not after you understand what is really happening.
I must confess, I really don't like to read but do like the results. I put this book together for the non-reading segment of the population. At the end of each chapter is a summary. Place the informataion by the phone, on the sun visor of the car, on the refrigerator, and in your wallet as a constant reminder.
What do you want? Is it money, fame, piece of mind, companionship, health, friends, power? Yes, you have heard the set your goals pitch and it really can become annoying. Why?
Here we go again. We have all heard it. Write down your goals in one, two, five year segments. Be specific. Every author will pationately state the importance of this step. It works. Oh really? I have my doubts about the procedure. Most of us are very reluctant to actually write down our goals for good reasons. It sounds easy, but let's go through the thinking process.
What stops us from the goal writing process?
1. People will laugh at my goals.
2. If I write them down and do not achieve them, my failure is documented. Now my wife, friends, associates can throw failure back in my face. Most importantly, I will know and won't like myself.
3. What do I really want? I'm not sure.
4. I'm happy where I am, just need reassurance things won't change, My family and I will keep our health and present status with a retirement that will carry us.
5. Changes bring unforeseen problems, doesn't it?
For many of us, these are valid reasons not to write down our goals. Let's move on and see that each step will help us get what we want, often goals are programmed into our inner self and realy don't need to be clarified in writing.
Money as a Personality and Character Amplifier
I like to think of money as a personality and character amplifier. Money allows a person's character to become more intense. He or she becomes more of what their paradigm was before the input of new money. Simply stated, money allows a greedy person to become tighter or a generous person to become more giving. As these people grow in wealth, they assume more control of equipment, time, places and people around them. Often, more money converts to more opportunity to control more people. I learned that a generous man who becomes a millionaire is quicker to lend you his Rolls Royce than the lower income man is to lend you his recently purchased lawn mower. A rich man who likes to brag by nature will quickly flaunt his fleet of cars, homes or executive toys to everyone around him. The poor neighbor across the street is the same guy, just brags about his new barbecue grill or lawn mower. Conversely, I know generous and wealthy men who actually will downplay their material possessions and if unveiled, will ask if you want to borrow any of them. I have driven many of my clients' new Jaguars, Mercedes and Bentleys. As a newly-licensed airplane pilot, I had the fortune of flying their personal airplanes. This past year, I flew as a guest in a client's private 8 passenger jet to Key West for a weekend. I watched it happen first hand all too often. An architect friend opened his waterside Chesapeake home for my son's wedding rehearsal dinner. Another friend game me his new six figure Mercedes to drive while he was out of town. Several friends handed me the keys to their mansions when they went on vacation to use the pool, home theater, or just to hang around and play the grand piano. Yes, generous people with increased wealth do become more generous. On the other side of the coin, I had a very wealthy friend verbally fight over who's paying the lunch tab while his helicopter waited in the parking lot burning hundreds of dollars of fuel.
Lets take a closer look of the wealthy
What makes these people so successful? Is it their personality? Do they have a high IQ? Maybe it's their strong work ethic? Is it above average physical characteristics? What really sets these successful people apart as leaders rather than followers? With my engineering background as a resource coupled with the number of successful people I met over the 20 years, I set out to document all aspects of their lives and actions. You ask is this another self-help book? I too have read dozens of self help books. These books recount stories and offer step-by-step procedures to success, but none really hit the target on the simple, concrete essence of their success. With an engineering background, as my tool and logical approach, I got started. I like to find the 'common denominator' when solving a problem. I don't have the time to learn the complicated steps or detailed formulas for success. Let's get to the bottom line quickly and accurately.
The secret is in three words.
In this book, I have summarized these success principles into three simple words. This is something you can remember and use daily. I have hit upon the secret and factored all the variables down to the three words. These three words allow each one of us to easily understand the principles. This publication will show you to read about these three simple steps, how to recognize them and how to implement them quickly. It's not intellectually difficult but it is tough to remember to apply them to everyday situations, encounters, conversations, and negotiations. It takes practice to keep the formula in the front of your minds when meeting and talking to people every day. One suggestion is to write them into your cell phone memo pad or calendar.
This formula works even better when building friendships, business acquaintances, family ties, hobbies and teamwork event in the office. My conclusion m- No, you don't need movie star looks, high intelligence, or any other talents usually associated with success. I can almost guarantee you will double or triple your results immediately upon grasping the three-step concept. Just a reminder, I have no scientific credentials or documented studies to back up the information in these pages. I will say that it has worked for me and I have had impressive results making goals easier to achieve. I am highly optimistic this will work for you, too.
With all this said, relax and enjoy as you scroll the pages and discover the concept for yourself. If you would like to contact me, please check the information at the end of this publication. Thank you Don Hodor, Author.
DISCOVERING THE SECRETS
It was there in front of us all the while!
Did you ever look for something only to find it was right in front of you all the while? This is that exact phenomenon. It's been in front of all of us, but now it's suddenly clear. Now you can see the secret principles in three words. You will enjoy going about your day with a new perspective and vivid view as events unfold in front of you with each encounter.
Now you can see the secret principles in three words. Let?s get started.
Here are the three words. . .
Step 1. EXCITEMENT
Is it exciting?
Step 2 BELIEF
Do we believe and trust the person, product, or service?
Step 3 Control
Does everyone clearly understand the investment of time, money and effort in exchange for the quality and time frame of the reward?
CHAPTER ONE
EXCITEMENT
Let us take inventory by starting with you.
Are you exciting?
What draws our attention? The next time you are with a group of people take notice; Is there one particular person or couple in the room that others are drawn to? While driving on the highway, which signs draw your attention the most? Which cars draw your attention? When watching TV, what draws your attention? The same question should be asked while reading magazines, listening to music, shopping, dining, movies, etc. All are opportunities to see the three words being acted out.
Excitement puts us all in a hypnotic state. Excitement usually appeals to a person's ego and pride. Sometimes it can appeal to the nobler motives such as religious beliefs and character. Most often I stick with ego and pride a recognizable force in our society.
Let's re-state the question? What draws our attention?
Answer: Anything that is exciting.
That sounds interesting, but really, what exactly is exciting? What gets us excited?
Let's start with the dictionary definitions.
Key
1. to stir to activity.
2. To call forth (a reaction or emotion, for example) elicit
3. To arouse strong feeling in: speakers who know how to excite a crowd.
4. Physiology. To produce increased activity or response in (an organ, or part) stimulate.
5. Physics: To increase the energy of. To rise to a higher energy level.
I like the definition, raising the level of expectation and awareness. Setting people's minds in motion. Creating energy in thinking, actions, decisions and goals.
Now an even better question. How can you make excitement work for you?
The following tools will help get you and others excited. Increasing other's excitement will get you even more excited as well.
First, let's get others excited by making them feel important. Here ae some words that generate excitement:
POWER
MONEY
SEX
HUMOR
FEAR
DANGER
SADNESS
HAPPINESS
EMOTIONS THAT ARE NEGATIVE: ANGER, MAD, DISAPPOINTED, THREATENED, RESENTMENT, EMBARRASSED
Let's take each of these classifications of excitement and demonstrate examples of how we can use them to get others excited around us.
POWER: Most people think of power as the ability to control other people.
Common statements we hear repeated about power include:
He knows a lot of influential people.
He can pick up the phone and get things done
These statements Are commonly associated with power. Power (and perceived power) makes a person exciting. Often, it can be a perception that a person has many contacts who will perform for him or her.
MONEY:
Power is often associated with money. What makes money powerful? Let's not kid ourselves on the subject of money. The obvious: money can buy action with labor, control time, access to special equipment, higher quality and to some extent, bring loyalty. How many of us have stayed with a company because it offers a great retirement plan? That is buying long-term loyalty. We always hear, money isn't everything or money can't bring happiness. It can do a lot for us if you know how to convert it to our goals.
What makes money exciting?
It's the ability to convert or trade quickly into so many actions, products or services. This is obviously Exciting. Many can be financially rich with a big bank account but unable to spend it on their lifestyle and goals. It raises the level of expectation around the people who have money if it is converted to excitement. After all, any tool that controls our time, space, or quality of existence is exciting. Money can do that easily. Let's look at a typical day, and how money can solve many problems.
Don't like to cut the grass or take the garbage out? Hire a Gardner.
Don't like to do housekeeping or laundry? Hire a maid.
Don't like to drive in traffic? Hire a chauffer
Don't like to wait in lines at grocery stores? Have a delivery service do the job.
Don't like checking into the airport? Buy a private jet or helicopter.
Want to lose weight? Hire a dietician, cook and contract with a personal trainer.
Are your kids keeping you occupied too much? Hire a nanny.
Got health issues? Hire the best doctors and medial - treatment.
Now that we used money to take care of all those routine daily problems above, you can focus on the more important things in life. For instance, spending quality time with those you care about most. Now you can follow the goals you are most passionate about.
Warning: The one thing money can not control!
Te one thing money can not control is the 'free will' of another person. Money can heavily influence free will but can not ultimately control it. In fact, it's been said that free will is the one thing even our creator can not control in us. That subject has a complete book written on free will of about 788,000 words - the Bible.
We all know Donald Trump to be exciting. His image of money and power and how he uses it to control people can easily be witnessed on TV. His phrase "Your fired" has become the third most recognized words in media. Before we go into more detail about people with money, I would like to clarify an observation I have seen firsthand: many people may not have money (They are cash poor) but they may have access to people in power. They may have access to tools such as limousines, jets, helicopters, yachts, country clubs, vacation condos, luxury cars, etc. May control machinery and equipment such as factory tooling, transportation, technology, communication media (Newspaper, radio, TV, internet) and more. They have access to a wealthy lifestyle and wealthy people. Some have law enforcement or political access. We often hear the statement, " I heard he/she is financially broke or bankrupt". At the same time, we note that he or she has power. Power but no money? The bankruptcy issue man or may not be true but if the individual has access to tools and powerful people on a regular basis, they have access to power or wealth and can convert these to excitement. They have access to lifestyle and wealthy people and have been empowered from another source.
Here is just one example of excitement generating tools:
A person or group arrives in a limousine. That act alone raises emotions revolving around power and money. You may say, I don't have a limousine. For that important occasion, rent one. Very few people, wealthy or poor, have experience the comfort and convenience of a limousine night on the town. Try this if you want to get your friends, clients, spouse or family excited.
Another example of an excitement generating tool: A yacht brings with it excitement, belief and control. The captain and owner have control over the passengers, time space and destination. You may say, I can't afford a yacht? Consider a timeshare, split partner owners, charter or if lucky, borrow one from a friend. Very few people, wealthy or poor, have experienced the conform and convenience of taking a private yacht on an island shoreline cruise. We're not talking about a cruise ship but a private yacht with captain and convenience of controlling your own trip schedule as to when and where you want to go. Try this if you want to get your clients, friends, spouse or family excited.
SEX APPEAL:
Sex appeal can be one of the most exciting tools, even more effective than money and power. Many philosophize that sex is the driving force that gets us up in the morning the reason we work and the underlying theme when we play. It is obviously exciting. Many tools project sexual excitement, such as stylish clothes, watches, jewelry, shoes, tan, thin body, hairstyle, sun glasses, etc. Later we will discuss some examples of sex and how it too can work for us. That is a hot topic.
ENTERTAINMENT - TALENT
Excitement can be found in the form of entertainment. Who doesn?t like to laugh and have fun, enjoy music, watch a sports figure, movie, etc.? It allows us to fight boredom and forget our pains, complaints, fears, anxieties, and sadness. A good comedian, professional or amateur, is always the center of excitement. Talents with music, sports, art, or singing are all exciting. It's a good idea to learn to play an instrument, sing, or perform and speak in front of a group. Take a speaking class. If you can?t do this, remember to hire someone who can for your special event.
FEAR, DANGER, SADNESS: I have grouped these words together in a category that I'll refer to as loss. No one wants to lose power, sex, money, or fame. The fear of these losses and consequences is in itself exciting or at least stimulating. It can motivate us.
We will examined the contract between gain (goals and achievements) and pain (loss or setback), and how the two add amplification or power to the excitement formula.
Phrases we hear everyday that bring out excitement that are founded or formulated around the gain pain principle.
Sale ends today
Limited offer
Only a few qualify
This is your last chance
Be the first . . . .Act now
Save money now don't wait
Don't be left out
Don't be sorry
All of these imply that you are in a special, important position to make a decision of gain and if you don't act now you can lose that opportunity.
TV commercials are designed to lure us into an excited state. Statements such as, If you don't act on this opportunity now, you will lose out are common. Advertisers present a product value tied in with limited time offer or limited number of products, customers or locations. They often put a qualifier to the deal such as age, geographical area, size, intelligence, limited quantity, availability, income level, credit worthiness, etc.
How do we stimulate these emotions and how do we convert these feelings into excitement with action and goal oriented results? A simple statement such as, If we don't leave now, we will miss the movie, and this is the last showing. That works to get others around us moving.
Let's start with our own personal checklist.
EXCITEMENT TURN-OFFS
Sloppy, wrinkled clothes
Poor grooming
Equipment or automobile that is dirty or in bad repair
Poor eye contact
Making people wait
Not returning phone calls, txt, or emails in a timely manner
Complaining or excuses without corrective ideas
Slow when responding to questions or speaking
Slow movement or actions
In general, are your actions slow, old, repeated, motionless, confusing, or hard to follow?
Details such as bad posture, talking too low, bad breath can add to avoidance.
Those are the signs that can cause others to walk away. The opposite of excitement is boredom or inactivity.
EXCITEMENT TURN- ONS
Nice clothes
Good grooming
Clean automobile
Faster talking
Good eye contact
Ready on time for appointments
New ideas
Easy to follow steps
Clear communications
Direct speech and approach
Candor, honesty, trustfulness
These actions draw people to us.
Summary on excitement: Do we look exciting, Surround ourselves with excitement, Speak with excitement, These actions cause us to get closer to the person or group.
Chapter Two
BELIEF
What is belief? How do we get people to believe in us? How do we get people to believe in our products or services? How do we project belief in our companies. How do we acquire trust in our relationships? The list is endless.
The action of belief ties in closely with trust. What we are really asking is, Do I trust you? Do I trust your claims? Do I trust that your product will work? - And most importantly, Do I trust that you, your product and service will work for me?
One of the simplest explanations is with a weight loss product. As we watch the commercial we are asking . . . .
Do I believe he or she rally lost weight? Do I believe the product will work for me? Do I believe I have the discipline to perform the task necessary to lose the weight? (Might be exercise, drink mix, pills, etc.) Do I believe in the person or products? Do I believe I can follow through? You can see how belief (Trust) transfers from messenger (salesman) to the product (lean body) or service to the person (you). As you can see, belief has many components that need addressed when moving forward.
The first step to projecting belief.
Be genuine and sincere. If you are selling a weight loss product or service, you better be losing weight! Do I believe? Do I trust? Why or why not?
Trust generating tools
We generally trust Name recognition. That is why so much is spent on advertising and using well-known people who are easily recognized. This means (as mentioned earlier) dress code, good grooming, clean automobile, speaking clearly and making eye contact. Be genuine and sincere. Example: Even if you know a person, when calling, always say, Hi this is (you name). That simple statement brings more familiarity and trust each time the person hears it. We generally thrust conservatively-dressed people, wear a sport coat, tie and light colors when possible.
We generally trust easily recognized symbols. Examples, are US flag, Coke, Nike, and name brand products in general. We generally trust people who work in established offices, in quality buildings. Think about meeting a banker who is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt standing in a mobile home versus a banker who is wearing a suit and tie in a brick office building. Which one would you trust with your money? Recently, with the economic recession the shift might be back to friends and out of the wall street stone buildings. It's all about case studies and perception.
These are just a few of the images we notice, and how they relate to belief and trust.
Belief as an action: It all starts with the first meeting. Was he or she on time? Did he remember details about me? Did she remember my name? Did he remember our past conversations? Did she remember what I came here for? Did he follow up with his promise to deliver?
He said, I'll bring donuts to the meeting. Did he?
She said, I'll bring you that article we talked about. Did she?
We start with the little promises and use them as building blocks toward establishing belief and trust on the bigger items.
Sidebar: Here is a simple test when evaluating trust and belief in a person: How do they treat others in subordinate positions. How do they talk with waiters, doorman, bellhop, cab drivers, etc.? Respect for others ties in closely with trust and belief. The two traits are closely related. Be careful with people around you who treat others with disrespect. This is an indication of whether or not we can trust the persons 'respect' with our time, quality of life and space.
Third party testimonies as a tool
Another tool used to project belief is third party testimonials. Always have a customer list of endorsements on record or a list of customers that will take a call or write letter for reference. Ask for a letter and keep it on file with your literature.
Your clients should be able to ask how customers feel about your company, attitude, product or service. Did we deliver what was expected? On a social level, referring to existing friends or acquaintances often works well.
Titles as a tool
We generally trust people with titles . . . President, Vice President, Treasurer, officer. But beware. . . who appined the title? Was it a group, club members, corporate management or was the title self appointed? Many banks are aware of this building block and appoint everyone as a vice president.
Awards as a tool
We generally believe in awards. First place, best sales, best quality, largest dealer, top salesman, employee of the month. But beware . . . who gave the award? Was it a group, a club, group peers, chamber of commerce or was the award self appointed. Best hot dog in town? By who?s standard or appointment? Car dealer service centers like to cover the walls with service awards. They know it works.
Automobiles as tools: Many will say, I won?t drive a luxury car. It's a turn off. This is not a true statement. In most cases, your friend, associate, or client may not like a luxury car because they are envious, see the expense as unnecessary or feel intimidated. But . . . they do respect what it represents. Power, excitement, maybe belief that you can afford the lifestyle associated. We know they do respect what it represents. You can neutralize the effect by picking a color such as navy blue, white or silver. Beware of black as it can send a message of distrust. If you can?t afford a new luxury car, pick something that is 3 to 5 years old and make sure to keep it clean and shiny. At times you project a more trusting image with an older clean Mercedes or BMW than a newer dirty un-kept Chevy. Remember to be humble, don't brag. Others are looking at the total package, you and how you handle the car. For special occasions, consider renting a car or borrowing one from a friend.
Chapter 3
CONTROL
Of the three words - control is the most challenging. Missing this step is what often leads to divorce, lawsuits, lost sales, bad feelings, split friendships or lost opportunity. Lack of control is the primary reason? business partnerships? fail and where the big mistakes are made.
Often people ask me, Doesn?t control sound negative? Control can sound negative as in, 'He is controlling my every move.' 'He is a control freak.' He always has to be in charge.
Many think that control or controlling is a bad idea or statement. In truth, control is necessary; however, it should be fair to all parties. A win win approach is needed. The reality is, controls are only negative if they are unfair. Conversely controls must be fair to all parties involved to work. All parties should understand the requirements and exchanged value from the beginning of a deal or project. The deal should be fair to all and stated up front. Here is a simple example that we encounter in our everyday lives. Let's say you are going on a date but are not sure of the other person's intentions. For the ladies, going on a date should be accompanied with a statement, yes, you can take me to the movie - I'll return the evening with dinner at my house next week. Now there is no misunderstanding as to what the guy gets in return for the movie ticket and partnership. Most of us are embarrassed to state the traded value upfront and think it is a turn off or deal breaker to bring up the control factor. The real turnoff - is not knowing the exchange of value or outcome. With the date, the guy may have thought a romp in bed was his reward for the movie. She took control by forecasting the outcome of the date ? before the event got its start.
Here is another example of what can go wrong without proper control. Let?s just look at the simple task of hiring someone to wash the car. Joe is the neighbor kid who is looking for odd jobs for the summer. We ask Joe if he is willing to wash the car for $10. We shake hands and the process begins. This approach is going to be a problem. We go outside 2 hours later only to see that the car was not touched. When we find Joe, he states, Oh, Mr. Neighbor, I was planning on doing that tomorrow morning. The price was established but the quality of work, time frame and quantity of work was not defined. We both lost control of the deal. What is the best approach? First go over the car with Joe and jot down a check list of what is expected. Wash the car, clean the tires, towel dry the car, clean the windows, vacuum the inside and wipe down the seats. Jot this down on a pad while walking Joe around the car. Now attach the $10 bill to the bottom of the page. Mention that payment will be upon completion. If we gave the money to Joe but failed to list the items in detail, we do not have a valid contract and lost control of the outcome. We can?t complain of the quality, dirty windows, or crumbs on the floor if the contract is not written, in this case, simply notes on a pad is sufficient.
So many misunderstandings come up between friends, customers, clients, relationships because the exchange was not discussed clearly up front or put in writing. That is why a contract is needed. Let's go to dinner I'll buy. Let's go to dinner you pick the restaurant and you buy. Hummmm. At least you don't have that ackward moment when the check arrives. We must have control and we must have a contract in order to meet the goals successfully without misunderstandings on either side of the agreement. This can be verbal but should be written, even if it's an informal note pad approach.
For bigger business deals, don?t be afraid to ask for a non-circumvent, non-disclosure, non-compete document to be signed at the onset. Then no one can say and idea, deal or concept was taken from another party. This approach has become common today.
Key points . . .
1. What is to be completed as a task?
2. What is the price?
3. When does the job begin and end?
4. What is the listing of service or product to be delivered?
5. Who is performing the services?
6. When does the payment take place?
7. What is the guarantee if applicable?
Those parameters listed above will help to keep control of the project. We must clearly understand what that exchange will consist of for all parties who play a part in the deal.
There are different types of contracts we often don't realize exist. For example:
People: Verbal agreements, a handshake. A ?to do? list, posted rules or procedures.
In sales a printed receipt, sales agreements, invoices, letters of agreement or letters of understanding.
Product: Specifications, warranties, test results
Service: Final inspections, passing test scores, quality control checklists.
No contract = no control = misunderstanding and disappointment
We enter into casual contracts all the time and don?t realize it. When getting a parking garage ticket, read the back. It?s a contract. When entering a parking garage, you agreed to the contract when you pushed the button to accept the ticket. Printed statements such as, Not responsible for stolen items, driver must pay full amount if ticket is lost, do not park in reserved spaces or lot closes at midnight - this is in effect a contract that is usually printed on the back of the parking ticket.
When you enter a hotel swimming pool or tennis court, you see a sign posted: To use this facility please read the rules - you must adhere to these rules, etc. You entered into a contract the minute you set foot in the pool or court.
What is the most common contract mistake?
What is it he most critical and often repeated mistake in making a deal (Contract) ? Most of us forget the time element when using controls. How long will it take to deliver the goods or services? How long will it take for payment? In today?s business world, 30 day net is expected unless spoken or addressed on the work order or invoice. Printing on an invoice, payment due upon receipt can move cash quickly.
Is this a Christian principle?
The question often comes up, Are these principles Christian in nature? What if I have Christian values? What if I don?t?
Let's go through the check list.
Was Christ exciting?
With miracles, lessons and teachings he gathered crowds who were obviously excited to see and hear him. He offered the best product/service known to mankind the message of eternal life!
Was Christ believable?
With his miracles and actions, his twelve deciples and others believed and trusted him.
Editorial: This can get tricky with so many opposing viewpoints from different beliefs and religions. Many claim there is no positive proof of his existence, death or return to life. The belief must be based on blind faith.
Did Christ have control?
I had a hard time finding the control aspect of Christianity at first. Then I met a Christian book author who brought the answer to light. Once again, it was right in front of us. The Bible is a document (contract) for guidance in our daily living. In writing, it outlines what we are to do, our acceptance of the deal, how we are to live and what our reward will be. These principles and procedures are revealed in the Ten Commandments, written stores about forgiveness and belief, examples and promises. If acceptable, the reward provided ?in writing? is eternal life after death. It's all controlled in a written contract to all of us - The Bible.
What about non-Christians?
The Excitement, Belief, Control process works outside of Christianity as well. Let's say you are robbed at gunpoint. Certainly this is not a Christian principle but do the three words work?
Excitement = a gun pointing at you
Belief = will the robber pull the trigger, is it a real gun and is it loaded?
Control = what options do I have, what options does the gun holder have?
All the elements of a deal are present without Christian principles to make it work. What is the exchange? My life for my money - simple. It's a deal.
Conclusions
This is a universal three step process that works. Excitement, Belief, Control and how it relates to deception versus good will. Either way the principle works.
Is this a manipulation tool?
Interestingly it can be used either way, but works better if you are genuine in your approach. The work and reward should be mutually beneficial to all parties. I am not suggesting that you lie or build up false images of what and who you are. These tactics will work in the short term but when building long-term relationships, they will backfire and fail every time. In the case of the robber, you will remember his face and when and if you see him again, you will back out of the deal! People are not very forgiving when they have been deceived. That is the ultimate insult to our intelligence, moral values and sense of fair play.
Being sincere, coupled with excitement, belief and control works best by far.
Here are a few friends and associates and how they handled the three words.
I first discovered the Excitement aspect of the success formula when I met Tony. (Not really Tony by name but we want to protect the innocent and save royalty money ha-ha) Being in the security alarm business, I was asked to give a quote for equipment to be installed in Tony?s house. As I pulled up the long driveway I could see a spacious stone home resembling a small castle in architectural design. It looked to be built in the late 1940?s with workmanship that could not be easily duplicated with today?s tradesmen. Each stone was systematically placed reflecting the great pride of workmanship that only meant hard work and talent of past immigrants.
The perimeter border of the property and driveway had a secure feel with large tall black iron fencing. As I came up the driveway I stopped at a large gated barrier that resembled the entrance to an eccentric estate. After waiting for a few minutes, a caretaker came to my window and asked 'Do you have an appointment?'. I gave him my card and he pushed the gate open. Driving in, I noticed all the trees and shrubs were neatly trimmed in a pattern of geometric shapes that only meant that much care was taken with gardeners meticulously trimming each branch. The driveway snaked to the back of the house revealing a large finely landscaped lawn unfolding below. I then turned down another long driveway that descended on a terrace with a large L shaped? swimming pool. Beside the pool was a matching smaller matching stone house with a tiled roof. It looked to be an old carriage house that was converted to a pool cabana. As I turned behind the pool cabana a 12 car garage appeared in view. Each garage door had 9 glass panes with richly varnished wood fames. Inside I could faintly see several Rolls Royce's, a Mercedes convertible and many vantage automobiles. I stepped out of my car and entered a small walk-in gate to the pool area. Setting in a recliner chair under a large bright green umbrella was a well tanned middle aged gentlemen with dark sunglasses on and a phone in his hand. He motioned for me to be seated but continued to talk a lengthy time on the phone. I only picked his side of the conversation, but it was clear that he had no problem with my listening, in fact he seemed to talk louder and stare at me the same time as if I was part of his conversation. He was talking to someone in Florida and discussing a business merger. He threw our many clichés such as, We'll make lots of money together?. Let?s fly to Las Vegas to celebrate, etc. I have never heard a conversation at this level other than in the movies. After what felt to be 20 minutes he abruptly ended the conversation and asked questions. First he asked my name but wasn't too interested in the answer. He immediately asked a series of questions. . . .
Did you like what you?re was doing for a living?
Are you making the money you want and are you interested in making more?
How much are you making yearly?
Why don?t your think your worth more?
What model/year car are you driving?
I was taken back. I though this was a sales call for electric gates, intercom , etc.
His questioning immediately did two things to my thought process. 1. He seemed to be interested in helping me make more money. 2. He appeared to want to employ me or partner with me in business. Keep in mind, I only came to quote a price for installation of motorized gates and an intercom system. We'll step back into the details of the sale but I must move forward and convey that after leaving, I was excited. I immediately went home to my wife and told her about the experience. He was the first man to express an interest in helping me get rich. He stated that his initial reaction was that he liked me and wanted to help me move forward in life. I was excited about his approach and given the opulent surroundings believed he was one of the few I met in life that could possibly help me.
We didn't spend much time with details about the motorized gate, intercom system or telephone system. He only stated, ' Give me you best system at the best price and we can do business together. Possible use his home as a model and he would introduce me to his many high end friends and clients. Upon the return trip I did present a very nice system and a below average price by past standards. Upon presentation of the system and cost, he stated, This is good, lets start, and he added, we will get rich together as partners. I asked for a down payment, upon which he responded, ' This is not a down payment on the system quoted but rather one of a series of investments in your company. After finishing the installation of a motorized gate, intercom to the house and pool and remote control to open and close the gate, I presented the final bill. Instead of paying me, he handed me the keys to a new top model Cadillac and said , 'take it home, use it for a few weeks and see how the wife likes it'. This car was way beyond my financially affordable transportation but I took the keys and glided home in this bright burgundy model. I pulled into the driveway of my home and waited anxiously for my wife to look out the window. Finally after dinner, my wife left the dog out and returned to ask, "What's with the Cadillac?" I explained the whole adventure and took her for a ride in what was her first luxury car experience. Although not materialistic by nature, she did point out the safety aspect for the kids and anticipated reliability. That was 20 years ago. I still remember the first day we met as if it were yesterday. I still do considerable business with Tony and he is STILL promising to be in business with me. Yes, I still jump to his service expecting that day to come. He has had a high degree of control over me using the mystic power by exciting me into believing he is my pot at the end of the rainbow.
Another Client
Frank is a client who became a friend over the years. Frank used an entirely different technique for getting people around him excited. His excitement technique was one of using detail as a tool. I was asked to meet him at his office in Pittsburgh to go over a quote for a telephone system. When I arrived, 15 minutes early I was asked to wait. Within a minute of our quoted appointment time, he had me escorted into his office were he had several proposals laid out on a table. He asked me to look at them and provide a detailed evaluation of each and to glean any ideas from them. He also asked that I contribute any insight into design of the telephone system. This was the first time and only time a client used this approach to getting a purchase quote. He kept me excited by adding extreme detail to the proposal. Questions like Sample of colors of the phones. What was the exact layout of the keys and buttons ? What was the weight of the receiver and how it compared to competition? What was the physical size of the phone? How did the ringer sound? What was the schedule of payment. What was the names of the employees who were going to install the system? Did I have a copy of my insurance liability, workman?s compensation and license number? These details caused me to take many extra steps never taken before. Needless to say, it kept me focused and excited about the sale. I have been doing business with Frank for about 20 years now and he still keeps my attention and he gets above average service from my company. We will later analysis his technique and compare it to the other effective leaders I have met.
As you can see, there are many ways people can create excitement. Many are 'management style' with no real 'one single' way to move forward with this program.
END
Thank you for reading. Please contact me at dhodor@southpointe.net for comments and suggestions.
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